Dear Taurus,

In short; you are Aries’ bitch. With no leadership skills to speak of, you will automatically align yourself with the loudest person in the room and/or follow the crowd. You will ultimately betray your intelligence, good humor, and relationships in order to uphold your allegiance to your misplaced sense of duty. Your poor self esteem will not allow you to feel any sense of accomplishment until being acknowledged by “the man”. While generally calm and peace loving, the utter frustration of the dynamic you always put yourself in will eventually lead to a fit of anger and violence, which will be directed at anyone but the actual offender, suiting the Aries’ vengeful goals perfectly.